All us mamas can admit, we have had days like this. Those days when you only see tiny hands and feet and only hear babbles and cries. You find yourself speaking in baby even when the baby is asleep. You tell your baby every thought or feeling that comes up because hey, it’s gotta be said and they are there to listen.
Your baby can feel like your only friend.
Having adult friends, I mean those ride or die friends, the ones that call because they care, or bring you a latte because they just know you are tired (because duh I’m a new mom of course I’m tired) are few and far between. Once you get married you will lose a few but once you have a baby, girl, it’s like they run for the hills (those who aren’t already in the family bubble themselves).
Since becoming a mom, I have found that my friends fall into 2 groups: my everyday friends and my forever-catch-up-when-I-see-you friends. Both are real and can be true, but in this season, I find I DESPERATELY need the former. Time flies right on by with a baby. Sometimes my husband will come home and ask how our day was, and I’ll start telling him about yesterday. Seriously. The days can start to blend and friendship- well who has the time for that? It can be hard to catch up on what’s going on in life since your baby grows and changes every single day. It can feel impossible to spend quality time regularly when your days are consumed with rattles and itsy bitsy spider. And honestly, we love for our days to be consumed with these things- it’s a blessing! But that doesn’t take away from the loss you can feel when your baby is your only friend.
The truth is, you have to MAKE the time for them. Being a mom is a full-time job, and being an intentional mom, living on purpose- well you can go ahead and cut the lights at 8 while I put the baby down because I am DONE.
I wanted to share something that has changed me since becoming a mom: your friendships are going to change, and that is ok. I’ll say it again- your friendships are going to change, and that is ok. In fact, they must! You have a new priority and your life does not look the same. You do not have to feel guilty or beat yourself up for that. Girlfriend ain’t nobody got time for that! You cannot successfully spend time with everyone you want and be there for your child when they want and need you.
I know, what a downer.
But there is hope!
PLAYDATES!! They will save you.
STORYTIME at the library! Other moms in sweats with lattes!
THE PARK! More moms in sweats with lattes!
COFFEE AND CARE! Join us ladies, join us.
These may not be your forever friends, but they can be your day to day friends. And you need day to day friends.
It is vital that we connect with other women, and specifically other moms, in order to be able to give to our little ones. You need the camaraderie, you need the community, and you need someone else to say “ya, i thought that too, you’re not cray” or “ya girl you’re crazy but it’s ok, we all are!”
It is more than ok to grieve the loss of friendship. It is a season in life that can feel lonely. But I urge you new mamas to find your day to day friends that make you feel seen and heard, and don’t be afraid to find them at all things free for kids!