Present over perfect

This episode will make you feel relieved! Get some encouragement as we keep it real and talk about some things that come with feeling guilty and afraid as a mama. you are in good company1 And there’s hope! We can be imperfect and raise thriving kids! Thanks Pandora for all your wisdom:) Here are the take aways:

  • Wisdom from a recovering perfectionist: Being worried about being perfect all the time actually hurts the kids because it models a lifestyle that isn’t sustainable. 

  • You only know what you know, and there is grace to cover the mistakes and space for them to heal. 

  • Self awareness allows you to regulate your emotions and to build better boundaries. 

  • Why do you feel you need to be perfect? You can release that and own a new truth of a beautifully flawed mom who shows up for their kids the best way possible. 

  • Be honest with your children according to what is age appropriate. 

  • Apologizing to your kids shows them how to navigate mistakes. 

  • If you’re hustling today: remember that seasons change. 

  • Be patient and remember that the things that fill your soul don’t have to be your job.

  • Know that even if things don’t go exactly how you want them to, if you make mistakes in your motherhood, there will be opportunities for your children to work things out. God will give them a chance to find relief or healing. 

  • “More than a perfect mom, kids want a happy mom.”

  • Be spontaneous with your kids, have fun together! Make memories that they will cherish with you. They won’t remember how clean the house was, they’ll remember you. 

  • Find things to celebrate!

  • Structure is good, it makes kids feel safe, it makes you reliable to them. 

  • When choosing a career: “Only work at jobs that allow you to work flexibly.” It allows you to show up for your kids when they need you in emergency situations. 

  • The guilt is real: but it’s a wasted emotion because it’s not helpful and it taints the relationships. Most guilt is based on a lie. 

  • “Your child is going to grow up in spite of you.” What does that mean to you?

  • Create a safe place in your relationship with your child where your kid is comfortable coming to talk to you when things outside of your control do happen. 

  • “You don’t know til you know.” 

  • “When you know better, do better”. -Maya Angelou

  • Guilt is supposed to be a flag to make you aware, not to send you spiraling. When you feel guilty, stop and assess the situation without internalizing and making it about who you are. 

  • Community can help speak truth into your life. 

  • Don’t go to anyone who mom shames you. 

  • It’s so important for you to do your own healing in order to see how your kids will have the capacity to heal. 

  • Take micro-moments to breathe and look at beauty that uplifts you. You can slowly build up to creating margin in your life as your kids get older. 

  • Consider taking a day off every week: no work, and limit things that drain you. Use that time to invest in yourself and your family. (For example, during nap time, don’t clean on that day and instead read a book or take a bath or do something life giving.)

  • Re-Claim your Humanity! You are more than a mom, more than your roles. You are a soul and a human with needs and desires. Fill yourself up girl! Your worth it! 

Pandora Villasenor

-pandora.villasenor on Instagram